Here Comes the Judge, Again
Every time you judge someone harshly, you buy into the idea that judging is a thing worth doing. It isn’t. Stop judging others so much and watch how much less you worry about being judged.
Scott Adams, Reframe Your Brain: The User Interface for Happiness and Success
Everything in a courtroom reinforces the authority of the judge.
They are seated above everyone else.
They wear a robe.
They are addressed as “Your honor.”
Everyone stands when they enter.
If someone openly defies the judge’s authority, they can be fined or even jailed.
We may never sit on the bench or strike the gavel, but part of us desires that kind of power over others.
We judge others by
· The clothes they wear.
· The words they use.
· The kind of job they have.
Others can detect our judgmental attitude, even if we never say a word.
We need to put down the gavel, take off the robe, and step down from the bench.
As long as we are playing the judge, we can never connect with others and have meaningful relationships.
When we are critical of others, we assume they are doing the same with us.
Often, they are so preoccupied with their own lives that they hardly notice our flaws and imperfections.
Yet we are tempted to judge them to make ourselves seem less flawed, if only in our own eyes.
Due to a quirk in human nature, we tend to be bothered most by the shortcomings in others that we also share.
This tendency is so consistent that our attacks on others become a form of public confession.
We can use this knowledge to soften our internal critique of others.
But an even more powerful use of this insight is to use the ability to identify flaws in others to increase our self-awareness and to begin to address those flaws in ourselves.
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