Sorry, Not Sorry

One powerful way to expand our circle of influence is by replacing unnecessary apologies with expressions of gratitude. Rather than saying, “I’m sorry,” shift your language to “Thank you.”

Alex Funk, The Dream List

“You apologize too much. Stop apologizing for things that aren’t your fault.”

“Sorry.”

— — —

There are two kinds of people.

· Those who never apologize and

· Those who apologize for everything.

If you are reading this, you are likely in the second group.

Those in the first group aren’t interested in personal growth because they are already perfect.

Everything is your fault, never theirs.

But you are a different story.

You are so polite that you take blame for other people’s mistakes.

Your mom would be proud.

She probably had the same habit, reflexively saying “Sorry” whenever something slightly awkward happened.

It may seem that apologizing frequently is being polite.

But it is closer to annoying.

It also diminishes the impact of a true apology.

But there are times when you have committed infractions against others.

In the case of minor infractions, instead of blurting out the habitual “Sorry,” try thanking the other person for their patience, understanding, or graciousness.

If the transgression is more serious, a proper apology is called for.

To make a proper apology

· Identify what specific mistake you made

· Then ask, “Will you forgive me?”

This approach takes the transgression seriously.

It also respects the relationship.

When determining the seriousness of your fault, be sure to evaluate it from the perspective of the other person.

It might seem minor to you.

But it may have created a major inconvenience for them.

Also, repeated apologies for the same infraction ring hollow.

It is difficult to convince someone that you are truly sorry if you make no effort to prevent the problem from happening again.

An apology doesn’t wipe out responsibility for the choices we make.

In fact, any attempt at an apology that does not acknowledge responsibility is not a legitimate apology.

An apology that starts with “If” is not an apology. It is an excuse.

Imagine you are allowed a fixed number of apologies for your lifetime.

Don’t waste them on situations where you’re just being polite.

Save them for when you need them and make them count.

—Rod Pickett

Now available at Amazon: The Courageous Heart: Wisdom for Difficult Times in “paperback and eBook, an Eric Hoffer Award Finalist, a must-read for anyone seeking inspiration and guidance. Get your copy today.