The Real Secret to Enjoying Your Life

Unrestricted satisfaction of all desires is not conducive to well-being, nor is it the way to happiness or even to maximum pleasure.

Joy, then, is what we experience in the process of growing nearer to the goal of becoming ourselves.

Erich Fromm, To Have or To Be?

Getting what we want does not make us happy.

Even if it did seem to make us happy, that feeling wouldn’t last.

What we long for is not happiness, but joy.

Our childhood fantasy of endless supplies of candy seemed like paradise.

But we realize now that this would be closer to hell if we had only candy for food.

Not only would we eventually die from malnutrition, but we would also be robbed of the fleeting pleasure a bite of candy once produced.

Having things does not produce lasting happiness.

But even experiences can be perverted into possessions.

This is expressed in the saying, “Been There. Done That. Bought the T-shirt.”

Experiences become something to be checked off a list.

It is tempting to try to capture an experience.

But that only prevents us from enjoying it.

We want to be present at the party, not try to capture it on our phone.