The True Cost of Winning
Although losing is never fun, there is a certain satisfaction that can be found on the other side of losing — but only when you give your all. To lose with half effort offers no pleasure in the moment and no peace in the long run. But if your ambitions were full and your attempt was genuine, after the sting of losing wears off you’ll be left with something resembling contentment. The reward is not always in winning, but in striving.
James Clear
“You don’t win silver — you lose gold.”
“You’re either the champ or the chump.”
“Second place is just the first loser.”
These sayings frame winning as the sole measure of success.
But what if the obsession with winning blinds us to the bigger picture?
Winning the wrong game is not winning.
There is always a bigger game than the one the scoreboard is tracking.
An eleven-year-old shortstop is not just playing baseball. He is also playing to win
· Skill development
· Sportsmanship
· Potential college scholarship
· Character
· Maturity
When winning the current game is the entire focus, then other objectives are neglected or even sacrificed.
When students successfully cheat on a test, they may win a high grade. But they are losing the long game of genuine knowledge.
We see this shortsightedness in business.
A company ships inferior quality products to meet quarterly targets but loses the long game by destroying its reputation.
We repeat this mistake in our personal lives.
An obvious example is spending our earnings on boxes from Amazon instead of investing in our future.
Here are some more easily overlooked examples:
· We gain a dopamine rush from binge-watching Netflix but forfeit the benefits of physical fitness.
· We secure victories in arguments through bullying tactics but sacrifice the loyalty of friends.
· We savor the fleeting pleasure of an unhealthy meal but surrender the rewards of a longer life.
Recognizing the long game we want to play is a start, but it’s not enough. A goal without a system is a wish left to chance.
Goals often involve factors that are beyond our control.
Winning a team-sport championship is influenced by injuries to key players and the quality of the other contenders.
A championship team has a system for producing a championship squad by the end of the season.
They don’t simply consider each W a success and each L a failure.
Every game, every practice, is judged not by the outcome alone, but by how well it aligns with that system.
We, too, need to have our own system for becoming the person we want to be.
Progress isn’t dictated by external circumstances or others’ actions — it’s measured by our commitment to the process.
Winning at all costs might secure a fleeting victory, but it’s the long game that shapes a life of meaning.
So, the question isn’t just “Did I win?” but “Am I winning what matters?”
Out now on Amazon: The Courageous Heart: Wisdom for Difficult Times, an Eric Hoffer Award Finalist. Grab your copy today.
