When Winning Isn’t Winning
I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.
Sign in my workshop
This sign gets a chuckle when someone sees it, but it hints at something more serious.
We tend to see disagreement as a battle, where only one side wins.
We see those who disagree with us as a threat.
In some contexts, this makes sense.
During World War II, we were reminded that loose lips sink ships.
This watchword was produced by the War Advertising Council suggesting that enemy spies could be anywhere, looking for information about troop movements or ship schedules.
A cynic would wonder if the real reason for this propaganda campaign was to bolster support for the war.
Anyone who was critical of some aspect of the war effort might be a spy.
At the beginning of the pandemic, we believed that anyone who did not follow the latest guidance of the CDC could threaten our lives.
As we learned that the risk was not as great, we were told that we needed to comply to protect grandma.
Those who criticized the government were censored and even cancelled.
As always happens, these efforts to control produced a strong resistance.
Critics claimed that our basic freedoms were at risk.
One side accused the other of not believing the science.
The counterargument was that the others did not have common sense.
Each saw the others as an existential threat.
The pandemic is now history, but this radical polarization has remained with us.
Nowadays, every issue seems to have only two sides:
· Either you are for ketchup on hotdogs or against it.
· Either you believe that the toilet paper should hang over the roll or under the roll.
· Either you prefer deep dish pizza or thin crust pizza.
While these issues are obviously trivial, many others are described as life-or-death matters.
But this is not the worst part.
We are so divided that we can see the same data and interpret it in two completely different ways.
Each side digs in, dismissing the other as delusional or immoral, fueled by social media echo chambers and our craving for certainty.
It’s a form of intellectual trench warfare.
So, it is no surprise that each of us tends to surround ourselves with people who agree with us about the “important” issues.
Longtime friends sever their relationships.
Families fracture at holiday tables.
Violence against those who identify with the other side is tolerated or even cheered.
We’re not just divided — we’re losing our ability to see each other as human.
So, what can you and I do about this?
We can spend time with those who think differently than we do.
We can seek to understand what their motivations are and not just accept what our side says they are.
We can even cultivate friendships with individuals who identify with the other side.
By building bridges, we reclaim our shared humanity and rediscover that winning doesn’t mean defeating the other side — it means growing together.
Imagine a world where my workshop sign doesn’t just spark laughter but reminds us that disagreement is a chance to learn, not a battle to win.
Let’s step out of our trenches and start building bridges — our future depends on it.
Out now on Amazon: The Courageous Heart: Wisdom for Difficult Times, an Eric Hoffer Award Finalist. Grab your copy today.
